Pregnancy and Parkinson's Disease
photo credit: www.pinterest.com
This blog post title is on draft for about a day or so, I really don't know how to share with you this life experience without trying to filter anything. I consider this to be one of the most emotional things that have happened in my life because families are involved. I want to be as transparent as possible on what I went through with parkinson's disease while pregnant, the emotional stress that went with it, and how my family handled my situation. While I am aware that this is a very rare case, I still feel like it is worth sharing. Especially if someone went through or is going through the same situation, it is always good to know that you are not alone in this. We'll never know, there might be a 25 year old girl like me, reading this post right now who is also struggling with the same illness, worried about getting pregnant and maybe asking herself if she'll ever have a baby at all.
To answer that question, as far as I know women with parkinson's disease doesn't have fertility problems. Monthly menstruation should be normal and if it isn't, parkinson's disease is not the cause of that. I never noticed it happen to me, but based on studies the only problem women experience during red flag week is the increased parkinsonian symptoms regardless if all meds were taken that week. I wouldn't go into so much detail anymore, but bottomline is women with parkinson's disease can get pregnant and have babies. But the question that goes with that is, can you handle it 100% when you are already in that situation? Are you willing to stop all meds and live 9 months with increasing tremors everyday? This is a really hard situation for me, it's like asking me to choose between the welfare of the baby or myself. The doctors cannot really help me fully because of the limited studies done in this very rare situation. Parkinson's disease is an illness people usually get in their 50's up, and its not like a woman still plan to have a baby and get pregnant at 50 years old. So studies are really limited and the doctor can only tell me so much.
You now know a little bit of a background about parkinson's disease and fertility. I also expressed earlier how I am a little bit hesitant to share with you this part of me, thinking if it's really worth the share for me to get too personal on this post. But anyway here it goes, let me start my story with the part where no one was happy when my boyfriend and I announced that we were having a baby. I am not exaggerating. It was clear, no one was happy for us! It even went to a point that my tita told me that I don't have the right to be a mother and have children of my own and that's because I have parkinson's disease. She even added, that there are people who just can't be a mother and I'm one of them, and I should know that. Hearing this from her made me feel so bad. It was so devastating to the point that during that time abortion crossed my mind. Imagine how my boyfriend and I wanted it to be a happy announcement for everyone, but turned out the other way around.
It is not a secret to everyone that my boyfriend and I are in a chaotic relationship, it is not perfect just like everyone else's. I wasn't sad about our problems, couple problems are normal. What made me so sad was how my family contributed more to our problems because of how they choose to receive the issue. They did not care how it affected us as a couple and just cared about what they felt and what they thought was right. I always thought of it as this. Even though the baby wasn't planned, she came in our lives just in the right time. I am already 25 years old, just the right age to settle down and build a family of my own. It's not like I got pregnant in college and had to stop school. I am already an adult, and if not now then when will I ever be ready with the idea of a family life? People can't expect me to just party and get drunk every weekend til I'm 40! lol! Kidding aside, because of how my family reacted to this I bargained a lot about everything. There was a lot of things running in my head. Everything was a stress. I wasn't happy! Breaking up with my boyfriend crossed my mind, thinking that maybe they are right, that probably we weren't thinking at all, that maybe we rushed on things and that maybe we aren't being smart enough with our choices in life. My mind was just so crowded. My body felt so tired because I had to stop all PD meds for it can affect the baby's developement. I felt so alone on this. Alone in this journey, thinking that probably I am now paying all the bad things I have done from before.
Good thing that I handled things pretty well. Based on research pregnant women with parkinson's disease are prone to depression, I can say that I wasn't depressed but I was definitely getting there. And with everything that have happened, I really think that my family and my boyfriend was being extremely inconsiderate. Yes, my boyfriend too! Along with my personal worries, he was being an extra baggage, an extra stress on my part. One thing that I have learned from this sh*tty experience is that, in this life we can only depend on ourselves and no one else. If we want to be happy, then just simply be happy! Self-pity will do you no good, we should never depend our happiness to others. And right now, I choose to be happy! I am very happy so f*ck those people who aren't happy for me.
Quick update. Since the baby is already finished with the developing stage during the first trimester, about four months ago I was allowed by my doctor to take all my PD meds again. So far from the ultra sound and check ups, the meds didn't have any alarming effect to the baby except that she is 2 weeks lighter than the expected weight. I will have my check up tomorrow and I'll probably update you on that. Giving birth can be any time soon from today, wish me luck! Oh and please pray for me for a successful and hopefully normal delivery despite this illness. I really don't know what to expect but we are all hoping for a healthy baby girl!
Check my previous post about having A Life With Pakinson's Disease at 25 Years Old.
"Life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your conciousness" - Eckhart Tolle
